Okay, I’ve used my blog posts in the past to talk about trying to deal with my self-esteem issues as a creative being. But I was reminded of my fragility last week when I was invited to come on to Song Talk Radio to discuss a few tracks off my album, Strange Machine. For the record, I’ve always had a hard time talking about my own music. Listening back to the show, it doesn’t seem like it on the surface but inside, it is.
Here are 3 reasons why I find it challenging to talk about my own music:
1. No matter how hard I work at perfecting my music, I still hear things that can be better. So by talking about it, in essence, I’m promoting it and therefore I feel like a fraud.
2. My musical ideas are very personal and come deep within me. It’s difficult to explain your process or your source of ideas to people…it’s almost like talking about how you have sex!
3. There’s always this little voice in the back of my head that says, “why would anyone actually find this music interesting?”
An old composition teacher of mine from my University of Toronto days taught me that your composition is not worth listening to if you can’t defend it verbally. I’ve always held these words close to my heart all these years. So despite my uncomfortableness, I always do my best to verbalize and defend (and therefore promote) my music in any such media appearance. It might sound easy, but it ain’t, for me at least.