Frank Horvat (photography by Anita Zvonar)

What I Hear In My Head

What do I hear in my head? I hear melody. I hear rhythmic patterns. I hear the sonority of particular instruments. I hear the unique combinations of sonority between different instruments. I hear voices. Sometimes they speak. Sometimes they sing. I sometimes hear my own voice in my head. It often encourages me. But it also sometimes puts me down and emphasizes the negative. No matter how much I say “stop”, it won’t go away fast enough. But eventually, it does…until next time. In my head, I also hear the sounds of water and wind, even when surrounded by silence externally. Sometimes the sounds are soothing, sometimes annoying, rarely painful or abrasive. Sometimes what I hear in my head is hard to define…is it music? speaking? talking? a sound effect? A lot of times, what I hear is an undefinable potpourri of everything and nothing. But it’s always there. I hear it. Sometimes I figure out ways to transfer what I hear in my head to the outside world…that makes me happy. Sometimes, I hear nothing.

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