The Spirits That Haunt Us

Programme Notes

When Megan Lanz and Cayla Bellamy invited me to compose this work, I was deeply intrigued by the mental health theme they proposed. Each movement explores a different aspect of human psychology, conveyed through the sound of the wind instruments. Through these sonic explorations, the piece offers both insight and a pathway toward healing, balance, and happiness.

The work is inspired by the cathartic journey of confronting past trauma. It is through this act of recognition and acknowledgement that one can begin to move forward, embracing a future of positive fulfillment and growth.

MOVEMENTS:

1. Control:
   This movement reflects the manic state of feeling compelled to make everything right, to have every detail in its proper place. Many of these everyday actions, while seemingly necessary, can be interpreted as superfluous or even compulsive. The overwhelming need to control everything is often a defense mechanism, a way of masking deeper, unresolved issues that hinder personal growth.

Musical treatment: The tempo is fast, with the flute and bassoon intertwining in frantic, rhythmic patterns, creating a sense of chaotic energy. This is contrasted by a melancholic theme that emerges, reflecting the unacknowledged, more profound struggles the protagonist has yet to face consciously within themselves.

2. Trust:
   In this movement, the individual comes to the realization that they need help to improve their life situation. The question arises: Who can they trust? Is it a colleague, a family member, a friend? Do they have faith that this person will offer sympathy and guidance? What if they feel isolated, unable to trust anyone at all?

Musical treatment: The contrabassoon and alto flute carry the melody at a slower tempo, with long, drawn-out notes that create a hauntingly calm yet tinged with despair. The music conveys the hesitation and vulnerability that accompany the search for trust.

3. Enough:
   This movement explores the existential question: Am I enough? Am I good enough in the roles I play in life? Do I have enough? Do I give enough? Through introspection, the realization emerges that these questions are ultimately irrelevant, for we are always enough, just as we are, with the skills and traits we naturally possess.

Musical treatment: Returning to the bassoon and flute, the uncertainty that opens the movement gradually transforms into a sound of beauty and joy. This musical shift symbolizes the positive self-realization and inner peace that come with embracing one’s inherent worth at the end of this cathartic journey.

– Frank Horvat